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. there's an ad for "Bear Removers."He calls the number and the man says he'll be over in 30 minutes.The bear remover arrives and gets out of his van.He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, 12-gauge shotgun, and a mean heavily scarred old dog."What are you going to do?" the homeowner asks."I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and I'll knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat.When the bear falls off the roof, the dog is trained to grab his testicles and not let go.The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."He then hands the shotgun to the homeowner."What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner."If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."This one is compliments of Chuck...A young law student, having failed his Law exam, goes up to his crusty old professor, who is renowned for his razor-sharp legal mind.Student: "Sir, do you really understand everything about this subject?"Professor:. She tastes like fruit, too. A sound vibrates my throat, something I've never heard myself make before, and Cat's fingers are tightening in my hair, holding me closer, faster, harder, to her lips.I'm the one to break it this time, my head spinning, thoughts strewn across my brain. I try to pick them up, but she doesn't give me time - her hips are arching upwards, her arms leaving my shoulders to grab the edges of her shirt and tug it up. I lean back, sitting on her hips as she flings the shirt away, left in a pink bra, littered with blue polka-dots; I stare down at her in amazement. Her stomach is flat and pale, her breasts firm and only one article of clothing is keeping them away from me -"Oh God," I mumble tightly as her hands rest on my thighs, sliding up. I never knew Cat could be capable of all of this - it just doesn't seem like her. She seems so ditzy, almost ... stupid, and yet she knows where and how to touch me, fingers sparking warmth against my skin. Her hands curl around.
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